I’m not going to sugar coat it. Everything is a bit shit now, and it may get shittier as the year progresses. We can’t change that I’m afraid, but we can explore ways to manage ourselves and our feelings during these challenging times, which is what this list is: an exploration of how to stay sane in difficult times. There is nothing revolutionary on this list because if we’re being honest, we already know what we can and should be doing to take care of our mental and physical health, but a gentle reminder never hurt anyone.

Address the elephant in the room

First thing’s first; you must come face-to-face with what you’re feeling then lean into these feelings for a while. If you’re sad, be sad. If you’re anxious, be anxious. If you’re angry, be angry. The point is to feel your feelings for a while but don’t let them consume you. Instead, let the emotions do their thing then examine why you’re feeling the way you are, what may have triggered these feelings and how you can manage them appropriately the next time they decide to make an entrance.

Let it out

You know sometimes when you have a stomach-ache that’s really painful then you fart and feel much better? That’s because you had trapped wind that needed to get out. Our feelings are like that. Sometimes our feelings can be so overwhelming that we feel like we’re going to go over the edge but sharing our feelings with trusted people can release that burden. Think of it as emotional farting!

If you don’t have people in your life you can confide in, then you can and should ask your GP to signpost you to services that can help.

Be selective

Sometimes within our social circles there are people who are…Um…Not very positive. That is to say, they are either always attracting drama and negativity or are always creating drama and negativity. Either way, they’re draining at the best of times let alone when we’re not feeling our best. It may be a good idea to put some distance between yourself and these kinds of people for a while – or forever really –  but definitely while you’re feeling low, while you concentrate on working through your stuff. You need safe, peaceful, drama-free people and spaces around you while you work things out.

Get back to basics

You’re going to hate this, but the oldies really are the goodies! They’re not revolutionary by any means but dammit they work! I’m talking about meditation, breathing exercises, physical exercise and rest.

It can take a while to get into it (or back into it if, like me, you stopped for a long time) but meditation really does help to calm your mind and body – even if it’s just for a few minutes at a time. Morning meditations can be a good way to prepare you for the day and evening meditations are a good way to clear the mental clutter you’ve accumulated throughout the day. If you need a guided meditation I recommend Headspace, it’s a fantastic app for this and for physical exercises too!

As someone with respiratory issues, breathing exercises have become quite central to my wellbeing but I’ve found that taking some intentional deep breaths throughout the day can really help to calm me down when I’m feeling anxious or frustrated. There’s nothing technical about it, just a deep breath in (from the diaphragm), hold, and a deep breath out, repeated a few times. It’s like that saying: ‘inhale good shit, exhale bullshit’ or something like that. (Although I don’t think they were talking about inhaling air!)

Any kind of exercise for any amount of time at any level is good for your physical and mental wellbeing, but you already know this so I’m not going to elaborate.

Existing (because I’m not sure what we’re doing constitutes ‘living’) in a capitalist society has really messed up how we see and treat ourselves and others to the extent where something as essential to our wellbeing as resting has been rebranded as lazy, indulgent and proof of a lack of drive.

Idiots looking for clout on social media create fake personas about how successful they are and how they achieved that success on 4 hours of sleep a night, and too many people fall for it. Out of touch business owners who were born before weekends were invented (or have the attitudes of people who were) bellyache about how people don’t want to work anymore and how lazy people have become simply because people don’t want work to be their entire lives. It’s insane.

Intelligent people understand balance. Intelligent people understand that other things outside of work require our attention. Intelligent people touch grass and have multiple interests and/or hobbies because they aren’t one-dimensional.

Rest is not a luxury, an indulgence or a sign of weakness. Rest is biologically necessary for our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. Rest is necessary for our social wellbeing (ever tried maintaining healthy relationships with others when your physically and psychologically knackered?). Rest is necessary for healing. Rest is where inspiration resides. Rest gives us the strength to keep going.

So engage in regular and guilt-free rest.

Disconnect

There was a time when Newsnight, The Today Programme, and the 6pm or 10pm news were staples in my information diet and Instagram was my social media of choice. Now, I gain the majority of my news from phone alerts or short snippets from the BBC or Channel 4 social media accounts. I no longer watch Newsnight or listen to the Today Programme.

I disconnected from the news during the pandemic when my anxiety levels were at an unprecedented high. The final straw for me was watching a journalist reporting from a hospital ward full of people on ventilators. Not only was this something I neither wanted or needed to see at this time, but the thought that some of those very sick people who were being used as props in this macabre news story probably weren’t going to make it made me so incredibly sad.

I did try connecting with the news again after the pandemic but there was nothing but bad news followed by more bad news, and government officials dodging accountability and not being effectively challenged by ‘journalists’ who were either too inexperienced, too biased or too scared of losing their jobs to ask the right questions.

The news often felt like a 30 minute to one-hour gaslighting session.

Too much of this is not good for the mind or spirit. It can increase instances of stress and anxiety so you may want to limit your exposure to the news to an amount and format that you can safely handle.

As for social media, much has been written and spoken about the dangers of ‘doom scrolling’ and excessive time online. If you can and/or want to delete your social media apps completely then do. If you can’t or don’t want to then look at ways to limit your exposure, and curate your account regularly to ensure that you control what you see. People often speak about the algorithm as though it’s this all-seeing, all-knowing spirit, when in reality it’s really just a reflection of our tastes and the things we spend time engaging with. If you want a more positive social media experience, then you’ll need to interact with positive content. I always start by following my favourite comedians, followed by my favourite positive accounts such as ‘Upworthy’ and ‘The Dodo’. Follow and engage with positive content and more positive content will follow.

Also, avoid commenting on controversial posts if they do find their way to your feed, and if you do comment and people respond negatively don’t engage, just ignore it.

Think carefully about online privacy and your digital footprint. Be selective about who you follow and who you allow to follow you (you may want to make your account private so potential followers need to be accepted by you – or not) and be careful about what you post. Avoid posting anything too personal for your own safety and avoid anything too controversial if it could land you in hot water. Social media is not your journal, you don’t have to share every thought, feeling and opinion. Also, if you create content and you’re employed, you may want to be extra careful that your content doesn’t cause reputational harm to your employer and result in your dismissal.

Finally, if you know that you’re prone to spending a little too much time scrolling, try downloading an app like ‘Refocus’ or similar that will block your chosen social media apps for the amount of time you request, and remember that as fun and informative social media can be, you need to prioritise logging off, going out in to the real world an making and cultivating real-world relationships for the purpose of healthy social and emotional development.

Engage in ‘feel-good’ activities

Now more than ever we need to make time for the (healthy) things that bring us joy, reduce our stress and takes our mind off negativity even if just for a little while. Life right now is heavy and between work and survival it feels as though there is no time left for anything else. But we must make time.

Money is tight for many people right now but don’t let that stop you from researching affordable (or preferably free!) activities for you to engage with that make you happy and remind you that there is still joy and peace to be found in this world.

If you enjoy working out, then do that. Can’t afford the gym? Work out at home or at a local park. If you enjoy movies, set aside some time to watch a movie or 4 at home with your favourite snacks and maybe your favourite people. I’m told board game cafes can be fun, affordable and a good way to meet people. Thrifting is also pretty cool apparently. There is also evidence that volunteering is great for mental health and satisfies people’s innate sense of civic duty.

Learn something new

Learning new things, and/skills for no other reason than personal interest is great. Believe it or not, there was a time when people studied to satisfy their curiosity about the world in which we live. But as it has many things, capitalism has ruined that to such an extent that many people see education purely as a means to getting a good job (which isn’t even guaranteed anymore).

Taking the time to learn something new can create a sense of accomplishment and is a great way to keep your mind active in a positive way. It doesn’t have to require a huge chuck of cash or a massive time commitment either. In fact, little and often through micro learning is a good learning option. LinkedIn Learning is fantastic for its range of courses and micro learning options, but the downside is that it might be a bit pricey if you have other more pressing financial commitments (it’s £39.99 a month or £239.88 a year – a £120 discount if you pay annually). There are other more affordable or free but still very good courses available elsewhere depending on what you want to do and whether you want the course to be accredited or non-accredited. Recruitment agencies like Reed Recruitment have a decent selection for example.

You also don’t have to do a formal course. Self-taught learning is just as fun and effective and is increasingly easier to do with tools like YouTube if you’re more of a visual learner and/or audiobooks.

Lean into your faith

If you aren’t into spirituality or religion, you can skip this part!

I’m not religious, but I do practice spirituality and doing so has, and does bring me comfort, clarity and peace.

Spirituality and religion are different, but each can mean different things to different people. For me, my spirituality is about our relationship with nature, the divine, and ourselves, and the connection between all three. For some religious people, religion in about forming and nurturing a personal relationship with the deity of their choice.

I lean into my spirituality when I’m feeling overwhelmed and while it’s not guaranteed to fix all of my problems, it can help to refocus my thoughts and energy. You may want to lean into your religion/spirituality too during challenging times if doing so brings you the peace you require.

Practice gratitude and humility

I think for too many of us it’s become normal to focus on everything that’s wrong while ignoring what’s right. Taking time to acknowledge and be thankful for the things that are working in our favour or the things that we have – regardless of  how small these may be – can be a wake-up call that all is not completely lost and a reminder of how far we’ve come and the help, support, and/or luck we have received along the way.

Humility is acknowledging that we are mere mortals and as such are sometimes subjected to things we’d rather not be. Humility is also recognising that we aren’t entitled to most things so we must make peace with the fact that sometimes our lives or certain situations within our lives may not go as we had planned. We can mourn this for a while then move on with the understanding what is meant to be for us will be for us and our role is not to try to tightly control every aspect of our lives, but to find joy and meaning in the life that we have been given.

Find the humour

Surely the saying ‘laughter is the best medicine’ has some truth in it? I hope it does. Always look for the humour – especially during dark times. Laughter is a great stress reliever and a good reminder that no one is making it out of here alive.