Many people, myself included talk and write about what workplaces should do better or what bad leadership looks like – and rightly so because 1) there are far too many shite people in leadership positions, and 2) who better to critique these people than those of us who are directly impacted by their decisions and behaviours?

Sadly, we don’t focus as much of our attention on the good leaders – the ones who bring the best out of their teams. The ones who hold themselves to the same standards they hold everyone else to. Unfortunately, it seems to be that in life, good people and things tend to get taken for granted to such an extent that they eventually become invisible.

In my working life I’ve had a few good managers. One rescued me from the cupboard under the stairs (literally!), one was a super lovely guy, and one, (we’ll call her Nina) created an environment that most leaders pray for.

And now she’s leaving.

And I’m devastated.

That’s a strange way to feel about any colleague let alone a manager but honestly, it’s truly how I feel.

The nature of work at the moment means that I have had to say far too many goodbyes to some wonderful colleagues over the past year, and not always under the best circumstances, so I’m already feeling emotionally fatigued by it all. As someone who has always drawn a strict line between colleagues and friends it’s odd that I should feel this way. Colleagues come and go. There are some you will miss and others who you’ll gladly hold the door open for as they exit the building!

This year has been different though, because the preceding years were different. I’ve had the opportunity to work with some fantastic people, all of whom have played some part in my professional development whether they are aware of it or not. And this was, in part due to Nina’s leadership.

History

I’ve worked in some challenging places over the years.

Many years ago, I was less than a week into a new job and was required to attend a regional meeting type thing. I was introduced to everyone because I was a newbie and naturally part of that introduction included the service I would be based at. What followed was something that I will never forget. Pretty much all the people in the room proceeded to talk shit about the manager of said service – my manager. I mean these Karen’s (an entire room of them) didn’t hold back! There was zero regard for professionalism or just basic decency! Having met and spoken with said manager and being blessed with the gift of being good at reading people and situations, I immediately knew that there was nothing behind what these people were saying other than good old-fashioned racism. Later, this was confirmed, and it became clear that these heifers weren’t the exception but very much the rule in that place.

I worked in other places that were equally nasty. Much of the nastiness was aimed at me directly because it turns out that some people don’t like albinos – especially albinos who are black. Being the cowards that these people are, their discrimination was often covert but still effective, in what I now know was basically low-key bullying. I also witnessed discrimination and bullying aimed at others, and by the time I started my current place of work I was tired, depressed and lacking any real ambition other than survival.

First Impressions

I came into contact with Nina after being redeployed into a different role as a result of restructuring after the pandemic. I’m not the kind of person who is easily intimidated by others because the way I see it, we all have to poop at least once a day, but Nina and her boss at the time were, quite frankly terrifying!

My first impression was that they were both a bit tough and severely direct but at this point I’d already experienced so much shit I didn’t even care anymore and figured ‘same shit, different day’. Then, not even a full month into this new post I got sick and was off work for a while, so I had more pressing things to worry about.

Even before I returned to work both my line manager and Nina were doing what I think managers are supposed to do – checking in every so often for updates about my health, discussing my return to work and asking about any adjustments I’d need when I returned. Their interactions with me at the time were professional yet warm and they always let me know that my health was the priority.

I was suspicious.

Fast forward a month or two and I was back at work. The job was hard, but the atmosphere was very different from anything I had experienced in a very long time. People seemed… Decent.

When conversations around diversity occurred – and they did for a variety of reasons – the conversations were open and authentic even from Nina and her boss! They weren’t just ‘saying words’, they were actually committed to EDI – like really committed.

I was intrigued but cautious.

And then…

As time passed, I got to know Nina and her boss a little better. It turns out they were tough, and very direct, but were actually very nice people and very good managers. They communicated with us about the decisions they were making and why. They took time to get to know the team – no easy feat because we’re a large team! They openly encouraged professional development – for everyone not just their faves – and created and supported opportunities for development. (Fun Fact: To complete my coaching qualification Nina and my line manager had to give their permission since many of the study sessions would take place during work hours). They also encouraged us all to advocate for ourselves and others and to take our wellbeing seriously.

And they fought for us.

They advocated for us publicly and behind closed doors and were the first to scream our successes from the rooftops.

And the result was a working environment I have never experienced before, and I fear I’ll never experience again.

We’re a hardworking team. The work can be complex and requires so many different skills it’ll make your head spin! We have reached – and in many cases exceeded – every challenge set. Very few people understand what we do, and even fewer could do it. This isn’t arrogance but fact. I mentioned earlier that the job was hard. The aspect of the job I was doing back in 2021 was so hard that I don’t do it anymore! I applied for an internal vacancy within the same team, doing something else!

Much of our success as a team comes from individual work ethic and an unusually high number of over-achievers! But the environment in which this success was nurtured and encouraged has very much been created by good leadership. When leaders encourage open and honest communication and actually listen to their staff, when they encourage opportunities to learn from mistakes instead of being punished for them, when they create a psychologically safe space, provide development opportunities, encouragement, regular and useful 1 to 1s, and a clear and active commitment to EDI, good things happen.

When leaders lead by example, good things happen.

When leaders rid themselves of ego and operate using intelligence, common sense and human decency, good things happen.

When leaders are accountable, good things happen.

Of course, there are challenges and ruffled feathers within the team sometimes but overall, the atmosphere is a generally happy one where people feel respected, supported, included and heard. And as for anyone who attempts to contaminate the space with their discriminatory behaviour and the like, much like the end of the film Mean Girls: ‘..If any Freshman tried to disturb that peace…Well let’s just say we knew how to take care of it”.

Er, let me clarify. We don’t push them in front of a bus, we just report them safe in the knowledge that our managers would take it seriously and deal with it accordingly.

Basically, I’ve been spoiled! I’ve been able to focus on my work and development without having to deal with being ignored, micro-managed, lied about, denied development opportunities, talked down to, or disrespected on a daily basis.

Do you watch athletics? The relay races to be exact? When one athlete passes the baton on to the other it must be a smooth, clean transition. You can’t drop the baton. This is how it was when Nina’s boss moved on to greener pastures a few years ago. Nina didn’t drop the baton.

But now, thanks to reasons beyond common sense – sorry – beyond our control, Nina is leaving us, and as I said earlier, I’m devastated. Yes, I will miss her – she really makes me laugh and I admire many things about her, not least her commitment to helping and supporting others – but I’m also anxious. Leaders like Nina are few and far between and while I’m sure we’ll all try to continue what she and her previous boss created, the fact remains that the key elements of what made her – and as a result, us – extraordinary are the same key elements that many leaders lack, namely courage, empathy, authenticity, common sense, and humanity.

I know for a fact that Nina will excel in whatever she chooses to do next. As for our team and how we’ll fare without her, I have no idea, but I do know that whoever will be taking her place will have some massive Shaquille O’Neal sized shoes to fill.