Let’s play a game.

1. Think about all the things you’ve said you want to do/start/achieve/change or improve (e.g. “I want to start reading more”, I want to change jobs”, “I want to meet more people” …)
2. From your list, what are the things that you have actively started working on?
3. How would you rate your progress in this or these areas so far:

• I’m making great progress
• My progress is okay
• Progress?

4. Being 100% honest with yourself, how intentional have you been in working towards your goal(s)?

I was speaking to someone recently about blogging and my writing (or lack thereof) and as always, because they’re awesome and wise, they said something along the lines of ‘you have to be intentional’ and I’ve been thinking about this for a while.

Planned, intended, on purpose, deliberate… These are all definitions of ‘intentional’, so in this particular context, we’re talking about centring the thing(s) we want to achieve and approaching them with the same level of discipline and importance as we do our paid jobs, paying bills, raising children etc.

I’m not going to write paragraphs about why it’s important to do this because we’re not morons, we know why it’s important to do this. The bigger question is why so many of us don’t do this.

I’ve been writing forever. The first story I ever wrote was about a family who flushed their dead goldfish down the toilet but due to some kind of radioactive substance I guess, the goldfish was resurrected, found the family who had flushed it and chased them around their house. I’m not quite sure how the fish did this without feel but I don’t suppose little details like animal biology really matter in the mind of a 6-year-old.

In year 7 our English teacher asked us to write a story using Cockney rhyming slang. I wrote something about a man screaming about his ‘jam tart’. He was having a heart attack – I can’t remember the whole story, I just know it was bonkers. English teacher loved it and read it out to the class.

Last week I wrote what is in my opinion, a pretty good short story about a soulmate encounter. A few months ago, I wrote a short story about a woman coming into her power. These have joined the folder of complete and incomplete stories I’ve written over many years that I’ve done precisely nothing with.

Meanwhile, a few years ago, convinced that I was losing brain cells because the job I was in at the time routinely challenged my patience but not my skills, I very intentionally decided to complete a master’s and provide my poor addled brain with the new information and skills it had been so desperately craving.

Working full-time, moving house, being redeployed into a new job, and being dragged into a family member’s divorce were not exactly the ideal conditions in which to study, and there was a point towards the end when I was very seriously considering leaving the course. I’d love to tell you that it was my sheer grit and determination that kept me going but it wasn’t, not entirely. What actually made me finish was thinking about paying back that student loan every month (in addition to the one I was already paying) and having fuck all to show for it.

Ah money, the great motivator.

In 2023 after a year of study (while working full-time again!) I completed my coaching qualification, something I intentionally pursued because I really wanted to to support people in this way.

So, if I can be intentional about learning new things and supporting others, then why, despite my love of writing, do I do nothing with the work I create?

Oh, are you waiting for an answer?  ‘Cos um, I don’t have one!

I have some ideas though:

Confidence

The courses I completed were challenging at times but if I’m being completely honest, I kind of knew I’d get through them. I was confident enough to know that although there was a chance I might not produce the best work, there was little chance I was going to completely fail. I’m not sure I can say the same about what I write. I can’t control how what I write is received by others.

Failure

To fail at something is sad but you get over it eventually. To fail at something you love and have loved forever is soul destroying.

Beliefs

The belief that there are more important/pressing things to be getting on with.

Exhaustion

Spending a minimum of 40 hours a week helping other people to do what they love doesn’t leave much energy for the things you love.

Do any of these sound familiar?

Hold on one sec, let me try something…

Confidence

The courses were challenging at times but if I’m being completely honest, I kind of knew I’d get through them. I was confident enough to know that although there was a chance I might not produce the best work, there was little chance I was going to completely fail. I’m not sure I can say the same about what I write. I can’t control how what I write is received by others. I can however, try. I’m sure at least one person might like it, but even if they don’t, putting something out there into the world, is better than contributing nothing. Besides, loads of books, films, plays etc that were considered crap when they were first written have gone on to become the classics we know and love today.

Failure

To fail at something is sad but you get over it eventually. To fail at something you love and have loved forever is soul destroying. Kind of like divorce, yet thousands of divorces take place each year and the people involved eventually move on with their lives, sometimes having become a better person as a result. Also, what constitutes a ‘failure’? Perhaps failure is never taking chances?

Beliefs

The belief that there are more important/pressing things to be getting on with. Most of which are things that benefit other people and not ourselves. If we never prioritise and take seriously our own wants, needs and passions why would anyone else?

Exhaustion

Spending a minimum of 40 hours a week helping other people to do what they love doesn’t leave much energy for the things you love. Capitalism has already robbed us of so much, we can’t let it strip us of our talents and passions too because without those who are we? Just sacks of skin, organs and bones mindlessly existing solely for the purpose of elevating others.

So, I guess we have some work to do.

I’ll work on the book, you work on your thing(s) and we’ll check in with each other in a few months to see how we’re getting on okay?

Good luck!